psst.

so, FINALLY examinations are over. its been so long since i waited for these to end but bahh.

im soo not looking forward to june holidays. im so gonna be dark. got kayaking lah dey! then, also have the land module thing. scared sials. quite a few say that the "training" is tough. i scared lah seow. i seriously do not want to get involve in any of these but i cant run anywhere.


NO POINT READING AFTER THIS LINE. I SWEAR.


for the first time in my school life, i cried because i cant do something. i mean like, last time, even when i failed my exams or are not able to do my work, i wouldnt care much less about it. however, at this very moment, im crying because im facing such a stressful life.

i cried because im not able to do my amath.
[ i was so semangat in taking this subject but i ended up ..like this. ]
i cried because i cant do my chemistry.
[ the paper was easy but i had too many stuffs in my head.
i was not able to think.]
i cried because i cant do my art.
[ im not even sure why im taking art when my art sucks like shit. ]


i swear my english sucks. i scored 6/25 for my comprehension and 14/25 for my summary. total it up, i only got 20/50 for my english test. i failed. how horrible can that be? if i continue to get this kind of marks for the upcoming tests and exams, im soo going to drop down to NA. i dont want this to happen because im just wasting all my effort being in express. i dont want to waste another year in springfield just because of my english. fuck.


see what i mean when i say im feeling so stress?
the previous one is a part of it. i got a lot more to let it out but that is gonna be super long. when i looked at other people facing a happy life, i felt a bit jealous see-ing them smiling and laughing and enjoying their day. why cant i just be like them? no stress. no nothing. just happiness.



rotting at home doing nothing is so boring. i cant even get out of the house to smell the fresh air. my parents just dont understand that being at home is so ..gughbjty. they prefer me to be at home doing nothing than going out with my friends, enjoying myself. even when they let me go out, it would be, lemme see, for 4 hours? bullshits.

but i still sayang ibu very much. she totally understands me. those harsh words my father said that night is so unbearable. i hold my tears back because i dont want them to know im crying. but when i heard ibu tsk-ing, tears started to drop down my cheeks without stopping. blearghs.


like i say. there's no point for all of you to read this. you cant do anything. you cant help me with this. nothing can be done. im just letting whatever is inside my heart out on this blog. it's sucha heartache to face all this kinda thing.



i like happy endings.
let just end this entry with a happy thing.
I GOT NEW DRESS AND 2 NEW BAGS. WEEE~

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